The Cry-It-Out Method Is Being Re-Examined: What This Means for Parents
For years, many parents have been told that one of the fastest ways to help babies sleep is the “cry-it-out” (CIO) method—a sleep training approach where a baby is left to cry for periods of time until they fall asleep independently.
Recently, headlines started circulating online claiming Denmark “debunked” or even “banned” cry-it-out sleep training. Naturally, this sparked a lot of conversation among parents.
So what actually happened?
And what does it mean for families like ours?
As a mom and the voice behind Mama Next Door, I wanted to take a closer look at the discussion—and share how I approach sleep in my own home.
What the Danish discussion is actually about
First, Denmark did not officially ban sleep training.
However, there has been growing professional pushback against crying-based sleep training methods in recent years.
Hundreds of Danish psychologists signed letters encouraging public health organizations to stop recommending cry-it-out techniques because of concerns about infant emotional development and attachment.
Following that debate, Denmark’s National Board of Health removed language recommending cry-it-out from its parenting guidance.
That change led to a lot of viral posts claiming the method had been “debunked,” but the reality is more nuanced.
What we’re really seeing is a shift in the conversation about infant sleep.
Why some experts are questioning cry-it-out
The concerns many child development specialists raise center around responsiveness.
Babies communicate almost entirely through crying. When caregivers respond consistently, it helps build secure attachment and emotional regulation.
Some experts worry that regularly leaving babies to cry without comfort could interfere with that process, particularly for very young infants.
Research on sleep training is also complicated. Many studies have:
• relatively small participant groups
• limited long-term follow-up
• mixed conclusions about outcomes
Because of this, more professionals are encouraging gentler, responsive approaches to sleep rather than strictly crying-based techniques.
My perspective as a mom
Personally, cry-it-out has never been a method I felt comfortable using.
That’s not coming from judgment toward other parents—every family is doing their best with the information and support they have.
But for me, responding to my baby when they cry just feels right.
Motherhood has taught me that babies aren’t trying to manipulate us. They’re communicating a need—comfort, connection, reassurance, or simply help settling.
And in my home, responding to that has always felt like the most natural approach.
The truth about baby sleep
If you’ve ever searched the internet at 2 a.m. while holding a baby who refuses to sleep, you know how overwhelming the advice can be.
One expert says sleep training is essential.
Another says never let a baby cry.
The truth most parents eventually discover is that baby sleep isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Some babies settle easily.
Some need more support.
Some wake frequently for months or even years.
And none of that means you’re doing something wrong.
What I focus on instead
In our home, I focus less on “training” sleep and more on supporting it.
Things like:
• consistent bedtime routines
• responding when my baby needs comfort
• creating a calm sleep environment
• remembering that night waking is normal for babies
Sometimes that means rocking.
Sometimes it means cuddling a little longer.
And sometimes it means accepting that sleep is just a season we move through together.
The bigger takeaway from this conversation
The Danish discussion isn’t really about banning a parenting method.
It’s about recognizing that babies are human beings with emotional needs, and sleep advice should reflect that complexity.
More researchers and professionals are encouraging parents to move away from rigid rules and toward responsive, relationship-based care.
And honestly, that feels like a step in a really good direction.
A note to tired parents
If you’re in the middle of the newborn stage, the sleep regressions, or the endless night wakings…
You’re not failing.
You’re raising a tiny human who needs you.
And one day, the house will be quiet again.
For now, the late-night cuddles, sleepy snuggles, and little hands reaching for comfort are part of the story.
And you’re doing better than you think.
—
From one mama next door to another.
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